I like my routines (is that a “getting old” thing?). For example, on Monday mornings I show up at the office early (Starbucks), greet my staff (the baristas), give some simple “first thing to do” instructions (order my coffee), do a quick staff evaluation (sip the coffee, waiting for that first-sip joy), and then settle down into some mindfulness exercises to warm up the brain (play Wordle on my laptop before doing some journalling).
My staff has become very efficient. They anticipate my routine. As soon as I walk into the office, they have a mug filled with hot water to warm it up. By the time I have my computer plugged in, my coffee is sitting at the register. There are some smiles, warm banter, and then I’m back behind my desk (table). Every Monday is the same thing. It is a beautiful thing.
If this was reduced to a mathematical algorithm, it would be Routine = Reliability. This can be taken even further: Reliability = Predictability. Predictability = Control. Control = Security. That is so satisfying.
Except for one thing: it isn’t true.
It FEELS true, but that doesn’t mean it IS true. My experience suggests it SHOULD be true . . . but as we all know, “stuff happens.” Some things just ought to be.
For example, I learnt that while I was on holiday (and thus, not in the “office”), the office remained closed one morning because of a glitch in staff scheduling. What kind of craziness would THAT have introduced into my world??
There are some dangerous words in play here. Words like “should” and “feels” and “ought” - these are all subjective terms that make me, my expectations, and my perceptions the measuring stick of what is good and what is bad, of what is right and what is wrong. Frequently, the “good/bad” and “right/wrong” perceptions intermix and I begin to define what is “right” by what that which feels good and what is “wrong” by that which feels bad.
The most dangerous of these words is “OUGHT.” It carries the weight of expectation, usually re-enforced by some kind of moral or social authority. “There ought not be so many cars on the QEW.” “Amazon ought to deliver my package today.” Since “ought” can tend toward being expression of my expectations, it may easily communicate a sense of entitlement. I’m sure we’ve all been on the receiving end of “ought-ers:” those who don’t seem content unless they are discontent. They are people who are demanding, often with unspoken expectations. It can be exhausting.
“Ought” can be a good word. It can speak of doing what is necessary, especially when those necessary things are of divine origin. Jesus said to the Pharisees, “But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and every herb, and neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.” (Luke 11:42 ESV) The challenge we face is to know how to filter out our personal expectations from the divine ones. The good news is when it comes to the divine “oughts,” we can know exactly what God’s expectations are:
He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice,
and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8 ESV)
It is so easy to over-complicate things. Like the Pharisees of the New Testament, we create a personal list of what a “good Christian looks like.” We tend to assume others see things similarly. When they don’t meet our unspoken expectations of “ought,” we are injured - maybe even offended. “Ought” can so thoroughly saturate our perspective, we may not even realize we are “oughting” one another. Is it any wonder, then, that Paul encouraged the early church to be compassionate to one another, gentle and kind to each other, willing to forgive each other as we have been forgiven? (Col. 3:12-14). Great preaching; hard living.
We do “ought” because, to some extent, we love the sense of routine, reliability, predictability, and (artificial) control it gives us. That structure is almost irresistible.
Yet Jesus lived by a different “ought.” He washed the disciples’ feet (John 13). He was kind to a woman of questionable reputation (John 4). He was gentle with Peter (John 21). This is the nature of His Kingdom. Service, gentleness, kindness are the necessaries of divine origin.
“Different oughts:” that which is necessary but driven by our love of God and for one another. It is a beautiful thing!
