Gentleness.

The space outside my window is popular with dog walkers.  Because I’m early to the office in the morning, I generally see a parade of dogs pass by.  Sometimes, I even get a friendly wave from their owners.  

There are all kinds of dogs.  Slow and plodding, high energy and bouncy, some dragging their owners while other dogs are pulled along.  Over time, I’ve been able to see the personality of the dogs and their owners (clearly, some are NOT morning people - or morning dogs!).

I’m not the dog-owning kind of person.  I like dogs.  They make great companions and there was a time we considered getting one as a family pet.  In the end, we decided it just wasn’t a good fit for us.  I like them, but not enough to own one.  

If we were to get a dog, it would be important to get the right personality.  I would not want a little, gotta-carry-it-everywhere, yippy furball.  After doing our research, we settled on a golden retriever.  Friendly, loyal.  Eager to play, not yappy.  Good with kids.  Lovable and intelligent.  That would have been our choice.  The qualities that appealed to us the most in the golden retriever breed could be summarized as “gentle.”  

Words MatterGentleness.

As a character quality, gentleness is misunderstood in our “Be a leader,” “If you set your mind to it, you can do it,” “Don’t let anything stand in your way” culture.  To get ahead you must stand out, be loud and proud, make your voice heard.  Sadly, this bias does not nurture gentleness.  Often misunderstood as being mousy or timid, gentleness is not about being introverted or extroverted. Gentleness defines how we relate to one another.  

Gentleness and boldness are complementary.  Paul’s presentation of the gospel was marked with boldness (he asked the church in Ephesus to pray that he would be bold!) as was his correction of problems in the churches of Corinth and Galatia.  And he did it gently.  

I love the description of The Christ in Isaiah 42:3 - “a bruised reed He will not break.”  That is a gentle touch.  Yet this same Messiah ripped apart the stalls of the fraudulent marketers in the temple (Matt. 21:12).  There is nothing timid or mousy about that.  He gently restored the dignity of the woman at the well (John 4) and then later boldly affronted the disciples for their pursuit of power (Luke 22).  In the garden, He was bold with Peter when Peter pulled a sword, yet gentle with those who came to arrest Him.

Whether it is our speech (soft answer turns away wrath - Prov. 15:1), our compassion (as we restore people - Gal. 6:1)), or being courageous (Acts 4:29), gentleness is the work of the Spirit of God in us (Gal. 5:23).  To be sure, sometimes it is easier to be gentle than at other times, especially when the other person in the “gentleness equation” has the personality of a porcupine instead of a golden retriever.  I need to remember the gentleness with which God has treated me and love my neighbour in the same way.

We value gentleness in our doctors, dentists, nurses, teachers, parents, pastors, siblings . . . the list is endless.  We love gentle people.  But it is oh-so-hard sometimes to be gentle, or to be bold and gentle at the same time.  As a faith-life skill, it is something we learn through experience, and thankfully, through God’s work in us.

I want to take to heart Paul’s encouragement to Timothy:

But you, as a person dedicated to God . . . pursue righteousness, godliness, faithfulness, love, endurance, and gentleness. (1 Tim. 6:11 NET).  I want to be a golden retriever!

Graham Bulmer
Lead Pastor
graham@q50community.com
Graham and Sharon Bulmer bring many years of pastoral, teaching, leadership development and administrative experience to the Q50 Community Church plant. They served in Latin America as missionaries for almost 15 years, and have pastored here in Canada.